Absent & Abusive Dads

Act Like Men:  Part 3 – Absent & Abusive Dads:  Why is even Harder to Become a Good Man Than it is to Be One

Sermon Notes – Watermark Community Church – Todd Wagner

Video Link:   http://www.watermark.org/media/absent-and-abusive-dads-why-it-is-even-harder-to-become-a-good-man-than-it-is-to-be-one/2019/

1 Corinthians 16:13,14 ESV  “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”

The Problem:  Men Today Are In a State Of Confusion

  •  The reality of life in this world is that we all have been disappointed or wounded in ways that challenge (not necessarily control) our ability to live strong, healthy and productive lives.

The Solution: Men have to Regain Their Ability to Live Confident Lives


  • A confident man is not full of himself, his is full of faith and lives in truth.  A confident man addresses the realities of his past and the responsibilities of the present.
  • It takes courage to face the wounds of our past and confidence to believe we can heal them.  It takes nothing to use them as excuses.
  • THERE IS NO WOUND AS DANGEROUS OF DEEP IN A MAN AS THE WOUND BROUGHT ABOUT BY AN ABSENT OR ABUSIVE FATHER.

Exodus 34:6, 7 ESV  “The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” 

  • KIDS MAY FAIL TO DO WHAT WE SAY, BUT THEY RARELY FAIL TO DO WHAT WE DO.

Proverbs 17:6 ESV “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.

  • What I think of my Dad the 3 words or phrases that come to mind first are:
  1. ______________________ 2. __________________________ 3. ____________________________
  • THE ABSENT OR ABUSIVE FATHER INVITES...
  • Lostness and Lack of Direction
  • No man is a man until his Father tells him he is.
  • Anger and Pain

Ephesians 6:4 ESV “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

  •  Homosexuality and Extreme behavior
  • 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless home. – U.S. D.H.H.S., BUREAU OF THE CENSUS
  • 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. – CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND BEHAVIOR, VOL. 14, P. 403-26
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. – NATIONAL PRINCIPALS ASSOCIATION REPORT ON THE STATE OF HIGH SCHOOLS
  • 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes. – U.S. DEPT. OF JUSTICE, SPECIAL REPORT SEPT., 1988
  • 85%  of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. – FULTON COUNTY GEORGIA JAIL POPULATIONS & TEXAS DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS, 1992

Translated, this means that children from a fatherless home are:

  • 5 times more likely to commit suicide
  • 32 times more likely to run away
  • 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
  • 14 times more likely to commit rape
  • 9 times more likely to drop out of school
  • 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
  • 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
  • 20 times more likely to end up in prison

WHAT EVERY SON WANTS AND NEEDS FROM HIS FATHER

  • Time
  • Leadership he can respect
  • Direction and solid answers
  • Explaining Why
  • Dad’s heart
  • Love, affirmation, and blessing. (Matthew 3:17)
  • Children rarely question their parents expectations – instead they question their personal adequacy.
HOW TO ADDRESS THE WOUND CREATED BY AN ABSENT OR ABUSIVE DAD
  • Acknowledge it is there and refuse to be defined by it.
  • Choose to believe in God’s justice.

1 Timothy 5:8 ESV “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

  • Choose to forgive your dad as your Heavenly Father has offered forgiveness to you.
  • Choose to reconcile with your dad.
  • Risk asking for your father’s love.
  • Accept the love of your Heavenly Father has been wanting to give you.
  • Breath the chain of abuse/abandonment…courageously reclaim the relationship you missed and relentlessly provide the presence for your child that he needs.
Advertisements

One thought on “Absent & Abusive Dads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s